Lollypop Interrogation
by Laughs4life
Summary: Just a one shot of how the accusation between Patrick's stolen lollipop would play out.


**After watching one of my favorite episodes ****"****Life of Crime****"****, I thought of how the situation with Patrick****'****s candy bar and lollipop getting ****"stolen" ****when he ate it himself. All Spongebob settings and characters belong to Stephen Hillenburg. Just in case nobody knows:**

**Officer Rob: Green police fish**

**Officer Tom: Orange police fish**

**Officer Nancy: Purple police fish**

"How about some lollipops for the road boys?" officer Rob offered Spongebob and Patrick some suckers after their mix up with the "stolen" balloon.

"Let's vow never to borrow anything with our permission again." swore Spongebob.

"You said it." agreed Patrick. The friends then proceeded to put their lollipops together but once they did so, Patrick has already gobbled his up.

"Alright." frowned the starfish. "Which one of you flatfoots stole my lollipop?"

At that question, Patrick, Spongebob and the police officers started laughing at his joke.

"I mean it." Patrick ceased his chuckling and glared at his friend and the police officers.

"What?" the officers looked at each other and then at Spongebob for an answer.

"He's just kidding officers!" Spongebob reassured the authorities. "That Patrick, he sure knows how to pull a fast one!"

"Spongebob, I'm not kidding!" panicked Patrick. "Somebody stole my-" the pink starfish stopped his rant, spotting a lollipop in Spongebob's hand, identical to the one that disappeared out of his just a few minutes ago."

"I should have known!" Patrick shot his friend an accusing look. "It's just like I said before, once a thief, always a thief!"

"Sir, I think you might be a little bit confused." Officer Rob stepped in the defense of Spongebob.

"Don't let him fool you officer!" cried Patrick. "First it was the balloon, then the candy bar and now he's after my lollipop! Lock him up before his crime sprees get out of hand!"

"Sir," Officer Tom interfered with Patrick's claims. "Need I remind you that it was Free Balloon Day, I know nothing about a candy bar and you just ate your lollipop."

Patrick disregarded Officer Tom's point and continued his allegations. "You really crossed the line Squarepants!"

"Me?!" exclaimed Spongebob.

"That's right! You've seduced me into the life of crime with promises of free stuff, exercise and not having to shave, and for what? Tricking me into stealing a balloon and my candy!"

Spongebob couldn't take it anymore. Enough was enough.

"YOU JUST WAIT A MINUTE!" exploded the sponge. "Stealing the balloon was just about your idea as it was mine, you couldn't keep your mouth shut when all those people were watching us ,YOU were the one who almost made us be discovered by leaving that trail of paint and I DIDN'T, TAKE, YOUR, CANDY BAR! If anything it was YOU who lead ME to a life of crime!"

"I WAS COVERING MY TRACKS!" Patrick defended himself in such a fiery tone. "And it's a good thing I did too because if I didn't we'd still be in the SLAMMER!"

Officers Rob and Tom did nothing to interfere. They merely watched as the friends had their heated argument over a lollipop and scratched their heads as to whether they have been dropped on their heads as tykes. They were nice kids and all, but there was really something wrong with them.

Finally, officer Tom stepped in.

"BOYS!" he yelled. "This has gone way out of line. Long story short, you didn't commit ANY crimes, you're both innocent, you can apologize to each other, go home now and forget about this whole ordeal!. Have a good night!"

Patrick did the opposite. Instead of saying "I'm sorry to Spongebob, he looked at Officer Tom in the most hateful and betrayed way.

"What is it now sir?" Officer Tom rolled his eyes.

"YOU FIENDS!" bellowed Patrick. "Traitors! Aiding the enemy in his time of evil, and I thought you were my friends!"

"Young man, we barely know you." Officer Rob pointed out.

"I'm calling the police!" announced Patrick.

"We are the police." Officer Rob reminded him.

Just as Patrick was about to answer again, Officer Nancy walked in to begin her shift. Before she could ask what all the commotion was about, Patrick ran up to her and embraced her legs in a bone crushing hug.

"Oh officer!" weeped Patrick. "Arrest these crooks! Put a stop to their wrongdoings!"

"For?" implied Officer Nancy still confused.

Patrick stood up and face the female officer. "They stole my…" But Patrick suddenly stopped when he saw his reflection in the mirror. His face was covered with frosting and sprinkles.

"I-I," Stuttered Patrick. He suddenly burst into tears. "I can't believe it! I'M THE THIEF!" Patrick ran up to the three police officers. "Cuff me officers!" he blubbered as he knelt down and raised his wrists, preparing for the impact of the cold handcuffs.

"Calm down son." Officer Rob put a reassuring hand on the starfish's shoulder. "None of the things you did before were your fault, neither was this fiasco. You're off the hook."

Patrick cheered with joy and turned to Spongebob with an apologetic look in his eyes. "I'm sorry I accused you buddy and that I said all those mean stuff to you."

"Aw it's okay pal!" Spongebob reassured him. "That's what friends are for. Besides, it was kind of my fault."

"Alright boys you've had enough craziness for one night." declared Officer Tom as he held a donut box to Patrick. "Here son, have a donut."

Patrick practically finished the whole box and this time, the police officers and Spongebob were smart enough not to take any.

**Believe me guys, I part of me hates writing argument scenes between Spongebob and Patrick but the evil part of me just loves the humor they cause! Besides, no matter what they fight about, they make up anyways. **

**Please review! ;)**


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